A Damn Fine Cup of Culture

Henrik “Henke” Hermans is an indie game developer from Finland. He’s created lovably goofy games such as Stilt Fella and Crossing Guard Joe. His guest post at A Damn Fine Cup of Culture isn’t about video games, however, but about the original Man in Black, Johnny Cash and his movies – in particular those that can be watched for free on YouTube!

There is a treasure trove of old Johnny Cash movies on YouTube, just sitting there! For free! Some of them are in the public domain and others I guess no one just cares enough for to take down. Anyway, I watched a bunch of ’em and I’m here to tell you what I thought.

A Gunfight (1971)

Johnny plays Abe Cross, an ol’ gunslinger trying to go legit. Abe rides into a small town to sell some gold dust and nurse his snake-bit horse back to health when he finds out there’s another legendary gunslinger living in town: Will Tennerey, played by Kirk Douglas. Pretty soon the whole town has caught wind of the situation and the rumors start swirling. “Are they gonna duel?” is what everyone is thinking. Pretty soon the gunslingers themselves start pondering the question. For a western called A Gunfight it might be surprising that a lot of the running time is taken up by the gunfighters sitting around and discussing whether or not they should indeed have a gunfight, but it leads to some great scenes and performances.

I’ve got this movie on DVD. Watched it a bunch of times. Love it. And it made me curious what else Johnny has been in, so I popped IMDB open. This was his only theatrical release, but he’s been in a whole bunch of TV movies, with good reviews too. And wouldn’t ya know it, a bunch of ’em are on YouTube! So of course I spent the following week watching a bunch of ’em.

Murder in Coweta County (1983)

Andy Griffith (Matlock!) plays John Wallace, a rich landowner residing over his county, which he calls The Kingdom. He owns the law and runs the county with an iron fist. When one of his underlings steals his price cow and tries to escape, Wallace chases him across county-lines and beats him up, possibly killing him, in front of witnesses in Coweta county. The hard-as-nails sheriff of Coweta, Lamar Potts, played by Johnny, sets out to prove that no one is above the law in HIS county!

It’s a nice crime procedural that unravels its tale in a straightforward but satisfying way. Well paced. June Carter Cash shows up in an absolutely scene-stealing role. I was surprised when I saw her name in the credits because she completely disappears into her character. Johnny’s good, but I wish June got more movie roles as well.

The Pride of Jesse Hallam (1981)

Johnny plays Jesse, an illiterate Kentucky coal miner who moves his family into the big city to get spinal surgery for his daughter. A lot of the early parts of the movie deals with Jesse trying to find a job but is constantly hindered by his illiteracy. Eli Wallach plays a warehouse owner who eventually gives him a job, and Eli’s daughter tries to teach him how to read.

The movie starts out great, and the scenes of Jesse hiding and struggling with his inability to read provide a lot of tension, but it kinda runs out of steam in the second half. Still a good watch though!

Five Minutes to Live, aka Door-to-Door Maniac (1961)

Johnny plays small time thug Johnny Cabot in this, his first movie role, tho he had shown up in a few TV shows previously. Him and his partner are gonna rob a bank, and the plan is for Johnny to go take a bank executive’s wife hostage, and if his companion don’t call him up once every 5 minutes while executing the robbery, he’s to kill the wife.

It’s a good plot setup, and could provide some nice tension if there was actually any question about whether he could go through with the killing, but Johnny’s character is such a stone cold killer from the get-go that there’s no question about whether he’d ice the wife. Tonally, the movie is all over the place. The scenes of the bank executive and his wife and son having breakfast play out like a sitcom scene, but then later on Johnny is threatening the wife with murder and rape and it’s fuckin dark. I gotta say it’s a ballsy move for a musician to play such an unredeemable villain for his first movie gig, and Johnny does a good job of it, but the movie is kinda a mess. Give this one a miss.

The Baron and The Kid (1984)

This one’s based on one of Johnny’s songs about an ol’ pool player who winds up playing a round against the son he never knew he had. Soon, the Baron is rekindling his relationship with the kid, and the kid’s mother (another great performance by June Carter Cash). But the kid is torn between his previous mentor/father figure and his new, literal, father. Meanwhile the Baron is struggling with some demons of his own.

A lot about this movie: the pool hustling, the father/son dynamic, it all culminating in a big pool championship reminds me of The Color of Money, which came out 2 years later and, y’know, is obviously a better movie. This one’s not bad though Not great either. It’s fine.

The Last Days of Frank and Jesse James (1986)

Johnny and Kris Kristofferson play Frank and Jesse, respectively. The brothers are trying to go legit but can’t seem to help themselves from doing just one last robbery. Or two. You probably know this tale already. Jesse is kinda a wild man. Frank is the responsible one. Robert Ford is an off-putting weirdo.

I can’t help but compare this to The Assassination of Jesse James, which is a better film. This is the same tale, told in a more straightforward and workmanlike way. It’s fine.

What did I leave out?

Youtube also has also a Cash movie called Thaddeus Rose and Eddie, but the quality is so bad not even I’m about to watch that one. It’s got a 7.0 imdb rating, though, based on 33 votes, so maybe it’s good? And there’s a Japanese movie called Kairei/Adrift At Sea, but a lot of it is in un-subtitled Japanese. 6.3 on imdb based on 11 votes.

Bonus: Ridin’ the Rails – The Great American Train Story (1974)

“Orange Blossom Special”, “Hey Porter”, “Wabash Cannonball”. If any fan still wasn’t clear how Johnny felt about trains he went ahead and just spelled it out in 1970 when he recorded “I’ve Got a Thing About Trains”.

I don’t know the year of this TV production since it doesn’t even have an IMDB page, but it’s 45 minutes of Johnny waxing poetic about trains, and some very well produced recreations of historic train events. It’s entertaining and informative. A good watch! Also, uh, don’t ask me why the thumbnail says “Johnny Carson”. My best bet is that the thumbnail maker got kicked in the head by a horse before sitting down to put this on YouTube.