Fool me once…

… and the award for Best April’s Fools Joke goes to – The Criterion Collection, who advertised that this masterpiece of modern cinema would soon join their ranks of superb DVD and Blu-ray editions:

And yes, they went the whole hog. Check out their synopsis of Reitman’s often underrated gem:

Historically, the policier and the family comedy were two distinct categories. Then, in 1990, Kindergarten Cop gave us all a lesson in genre revisionism. With muscular sensitivity, Hollywood’s last action hero Arnold Schwarzenegger embodies detective John Kimble, who is compelled to go undercover as a teacher of five-year-olds in order to catch a ponytailed drug dealer. Though it’s distinguished by pulse-pounding suspense, a Crayola-bright palette by cinematographer Michael Chapman (Taxi Driver), and trenchant observations about education in the Bush I era, the film’s emotional center is Schwarzenegger’s gruff yet good-tempered interaction with a class full of precocious scamps, including a tumor-forewarning death-obsessive and a genitalia expert. By leavening a children’s film with enough violence to please even the most cold-hearted bastard, director Ivan Reitman shows that he refuses to color inside the lines.

Which is only topped by some of the extras:

  • New high-definition digital restoration of the 1990 director’s cut, presented in 5.1 surround DTS-HD Master Audio on the Blu-ray edition
  • New audio commentary featuring Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, author of It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Can Teach Us
  • Excerpts from the French television program Cinéastes de notre temps: “Ivan Reitman”
  • Kindergarten Cops Today, a new hour-long documentary featuring former New York City police detectives Frank Serpico and Robert Leuci, former San Francisco police inspector Dave Toschi, and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg
  • From “Fingers” to Finger-Painting, an interview with cinematographer Michael Chapman
  • Archival video of Schwarzenegger’s acceptance speeches for the Favorite Movie Actor award at the 1989 and 1991 Kids’ Choice Awards
  • The Kids Aren’t All Right, an analysis of all the cuts made to ensure a PG-13 rating
  • More than six hundred minutes of rare behind-the-scenes and archival footage
  • Seven theatrical trailers
  • PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by former police reporter and creator of The Wire David Simon and a reprint of James Agee’s original review of the film

I would so buy that in a heartbeat – even before checking out the Criterion “Three Reasons” video: