Welcome to Six Damn Fine Degrees. These instalments will be inspired by the idea of six degrees of separation in the loosest sense. The only rule: it connects – in some way – to the previous instalment. So come join us on our weekly foray into interconnectedness!
If you’ve seen Tim Burton’s 1994 Ed Wood, it is hard not to regard 1996’s Mars Attacks! as a kind of extension of that film. An Ed Wood film via Burton, if you like. “Mars Attacks!”, Roger Ebert writes in his contemporary review, “is not so much a comedy as a replica of old saucer movies – not so much a parody as the real thing.”
And so it is. But whereas Ebert decidedly did not like the movie (he writes the above firmly as a criticism), I very much did. I loved it when it came out, and though my enthusiasm has dampened with both the years and the context in which this movie now plays, I still do. It is, however, and that I will readily admit, either very very niche or an outright fallacy. One wonders who this movie is supposed to be for. Lovers of ‘50s sci-fi, who would probably be better off watching any of the (many) originals? To lure more modern audiences into watching the old stuff? Or is it a film Burton is primarily making for Burton and his Burtonites? Fan service, so to speak?
If it is a kind of fan service, it is certainly very expensive fan service. The one thing that has to be said about the film, love it or hate it, is that the designs, styling, costuming and special effects are exquisite. Especially for the time. Its theremin-suffused score is by Elfman, costuming by Atwood: all the accoutrements of Burton doing Burton. And doing it extravagantly.
The story, if there is one to speak of, is basically that we (that is, Earth) are surrounded by flying saucers. These are ‘50s style, Plan Nine from Outer Space-type flying saucers, in case that was ever in doubt, and these are manned, or rather martian-ed by green goggle-eyed creatures with huge brains. The idea, as it is presented to the US President (Jack Nicholson), is that, as they are an advanced civilization (they have gotten as far as space travel after all), they are – in the words of the pipe smoking professor Kessler (Pierce Brosnan) – “by definition not barbaric”. And thus, when the aliens land, and declare – via a wonky computer translation – that they “come in peace”, the sigh of relief lasts at least a full ten seconds, before the martians proceed to incinerate everyone in sight.
Yes, with ray-guns. Why do you ask?
And so the Martians merrily continue on to destroy every human being on the earth, until they are eventually thwarted by… Well. Go see for yourself.
If this sounds silly, that is because it is silly. And it would have worked (or not, as the case may be) just as well, with a cast of relative unknowns. But where Ed Wood sports an already stellar cast in 1994, this one is positively vertiginous. Jack Nicholson, Anette Bening, Pam Grier, Michael J Fox , Sarah Jessica Parker, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, a very good Lukas Haas, Natalie Portman and… and this is the absolute icing on the cake: Sylvia Sidney. Sidney is not just a classic era star: in the past we have discussed Arzner’s Merrily We Go to Hell (1932) in which she is heartstopping. She is also a character in Burton’s 1988 Beetlejuice. And throughout this one, she is an absolute class act. So when I talked about “fan service” earlier, I do mean a very particular kind of fan service. The kind that is meant for inveterate nerds of a particular ilk.
The film is also hilariously mean-spirited. To (or perhaps past) the point of misanthropy. Quite a few of the reviews back in the day found this profoundly unfunny, or at least off-putting. But there’s something grimly pleasing about all these nasty caricatures getting their come-uppance. A sophomoric glee in having a bunch of CGI Martians chase them with laser-beam supersoakers. It is tonally rather uneven, in the sense that not everyone seems to be quite in on the joke: but there are times where, at its best, it is is positively exuberant in its grim hyperbole.
“If it’s not as bad as an Ed Wood film, that’s not a plus,” Ebert continues. “A movie like this should be a lot better, or a lot worse.” And perhaps that is true. The whole thing could have benefited from some actual depth of character, and the film’s meanness does intermittently descend into the merely vindictive. Conversely, its parody could have been more cutting, had it been less indulgent. But Burton, though in his films more generally he can show flashes of humanism now and again, in this era (the Nineties) seems most comfortable amidst cartoonishness and artifice. His more accomplished films may sometimes suffer from this, but his less serious ones can also thrive on it. And, truthfully now, is Independence Day, released the same year, actually, objectively, less silly?
Well. Okay. Perhaps it is. However, it’s Mars Attacks’ absolute lack of any self-seriousness that is ultimately the film’s saving grace. For fans of a Heathers/Bugs Bunny/Edward D Wood Jr. crossover, this is an absolute must-see. But then again, rather unsurprisingly, to many people that idea just did not prove to be very appealing.
All images from Mars Attacks! (1996) are © Warner Bros Entertainment Inc. via IMDB. Reproduced here under fair use, for commentary/criticism.
